Robert Mugabe Does Dubai (with a little advice from me)

A reader on iol, Bindura Bandit, wrote the following, “The radio report this morning confirmed what many had believed for a long time; Bob’s prostrate is being cared for by his Malaysian Neurologist! His brain really has been in his arse all this time!”

For whatever reason, medical or vacation,Robert Mugabe is in Dubai. I thought as a fellow Southern African, I would help him out a little.

Here goes:

1)First things first Mr President – its Ramadan. That means no eating, drinking or smoking in public from sunrise to sunset. And just in case you’re planning on bending the rules to suit you – this is NOT Zimbabwe!

2)I know Grace is the apple of your eye and all that – but you will be modest in your affections. No, wait – its Ramadan – no holding hands either. And please just extend the warning to your Zanu PF cronies as well.

3)There shall be no raising of your fists / punching the air – I know this is a force of habit for you after years of the “struggle” against westerners but this is Dubai. You will be fined!

4)Oh, by the way, if you didn’t already know it, people are well dressed here. I’ve noticed that your sense of fashion is disappearing along with your brain cells but please try to get with the programme.

5)It’s a well known fact that people bargain with traders at the souks. Now I know compromising is not your idea fun but please, please try to give a little. None of your I’ll-teach-you-to-mess-with-the-father-of-Zimbabwe stunts are going to work here. Some of these people are tougher than you – Afghanistan – let’s leave it at that!

Enjoy it Bob. By the way, try a little Indian food from one of the restaurants in Sharjah. Don’t bother with the stories about people dying from food poisoning. You of all people should know how the media can lie!

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